Sunday, February 6, 2011

Paula Poundstone Re: Projects, Report Cards

I remember waking my mother on a school morning, just before I went to the bus stop, saying, "Mom, it's the school play today, and I'm supposed to be a carrot. Can you get up and make my costume?"

I know my mother used to hope that someday I would experience some of the frustration she had in raising me. I've been paid back in spades. "Mom, my science project is due today and I need to buy a poster board and I need your spleen and we're out of staples."

"Toshia, it's really hard to get you a poster board at the last minute."

"She just told us today."

I found Toshia's report card in her pants pocket when I was putting the laundry pile in the washing machine, because not only was she not going to show it to me, she was going to ruin a whole load of laundry with it. She had turned a D-minus into a D-plus by putting a vertical line through the minus sign. I wasn't so much upset with her as I was fascinated. "Exactly how different was my reaction going to be to a D-minus?" I showed her how to make a D into a B and asked that, in the future, she aim higher and have a little self-respect.

(from There's Nothing in this Book that I Meant to Say.)


  1. I love Paula Poundstone!

  2. Hey FedUpMom,

    How about some found comedy? (It's either laugh or go crazy.)

  3. I'll add that as a true link:

    Gotta Love Those Ironic Typos

    I would've thought that only God can create a Genus...