Sunday, April 1, 2012

NCLB to be Repealed

President Obama and Education Secretary Arne Duncan have agreed to push for the repeal of the No Child Left Behind education-reform law, and will abandon their own program, Race to the Top.

"It's time to let parents and teachers work together to determine the course of their local schools," said President Obama. "We've relied on coercive, top-down measures for too long. Nothing has been achieved by years of testing except stress heaped on children and teachers alike."

Obama and Duncan are developing a new educational program, called the "Actual Learning Project", which will focus on curricular reform. "We'll look for the world's best curricula, and encourage all our public schools to use it. Currently, we're researching Singapore Math, phonics-based reading programs, and the Story of the World series. We will encourage all public schools to use the most effective, engaging, and relevant curricula."

Under the "Actual Learning Project", public schools will be strongly discouraged from using authoritarian classroom management systems such as Positive Behavior Interventions and Supports or Whole Brain Teaching. "These systems have almost nothing to do with learning, and create a school environment that is hostile to the goals of developing citizens of a democracy," said President Obama.


  1. LOL -- Next you'll be telling us that Chris Biffle has entered a monastery.

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  3. My draw dropped. Oh, yea. April Fool's. It felt good while it lasted though. For that brief nano-second.

  4. Happy April Fool's Day!

  5. @Chris: yes, Chris Biffle is planning to enter a monastery, preferably one that takes a strict vow of silence. All those gestures would come in handy!

  6. Okay, you had me for a moment there. Wheels grinding, smoke coming out my ears, arms flailing, "Does not compute! Does not compute!"

    Well done.

    Actual Learning Project. Heh.