From today's NYTimes Motherlode column (why do I read this tripe?),
Don’t Make Your Children the Exception to Every Rule:
When we look at the research on the childhood precursors of adult
well-being – the traits we see in children who go on to become happy
adults – we find that the driving factor is childhood conscientiousness, not childhood happiness.
Children who are industrious, orderly and have good self-control are
more likely than their careless or undisciplined peers to grow into
happy adults.
It turns out that adult happiness doesn’t arise from parents bending
the rules to a child’s advantage; it comes from children learning the
rules and conforming to them.
Ugh.
Oh, for crap's sake. What a load.
ReplyDeleteI frankly think alot of our happiness or not is pre loaded into us and there at birth
ReplyDeleteThe nurture part of nature/nurture is overrated ...lol
I think what's pre-loaded is a range of possible outcomes, not a set point. This is true even for qualities that we used to think were set points, like IQ.
ReplyDeleteHere's what worries me: articles like this are often an accurate reflection of the zeitgeist. Most of the comments following the article agreed with the premise, with the usual self-congratulations from parents who made their kids behave. What this tells me is that schools are still becoming more authoritarian and more punitive. The pendulum hasn't started swinging back yet.
Nor will pendulum swing back for some time ...schools are becoming more like prisons, as is the work place...drones will be over head next year . That's the sad reality. As ever more funds are taken from the social sphere, more oppression will be seen as needed and in the media ," celebrated" as it is their job to sell this tripe
ReplyDeletewith the usual self-congratulations from parents who made their kids behave
Parents being human and oppressed, find a false relief from that in oppressing others, those they can ...
sadly
I don't think kids or ( anyone) should be little puppets of course . But it's extra sad and laughable to make kids ( their parents and teachers ) follow " rules" in a time of utter lawlessness on the part of the powers that be . How much one can get away with is the true marker of one's social status.
On the other hand having them study only what interests them is not helpful either...there's alot one has to do in adult life that is not personally interesting. Why make it so when the child meets this common condition of life, it is seen as a shock and feels something went terribly wrong ? Some preconditioning to the boring parts of life would be helpful
Parents being human and oppressed, find a false relief from that in oppressing others, those they can ...
Deletesadly
That is a bit too board brush even for me...I would say that part of the mix, but also that most of those parents in the comments believe it is what will help the child...so it's complex
Anne -- I'm not following this -- are you arguing with yourself?
ReplyDeleteFrom long experience, I'm not worried about kids not encountering boredom. I think the schools provide plenty of that. I'm much more worried about kids who don't know what it feels like to be genuinely interested in something, which is a very common problem.