I just came across this wonderful speech by a valedictorian, Erica Goldson of Coxsackie-Athens High School. Here's a couple of highlights:
I am graduating. I should look at this as a positive experience, especially being at the top of my class. However, in retrospect, I cannot say that I am any more intelligent than my peers. I can attest that I am only the best at doing what I am told and working the system.
...When I leave educational institutionalism, will I be successful or forever lost? I have no clue about what I want to do with my life; I have no interests because I saw every subject of study as work, and I excelled at every subject just for the purpose of excelling, not learning.
I couldn't have said it better myself!
PsychMom says:
ReplyDeleteI came across this speech about a month ago..I loved watching the teachers behind her squirm.....
The speech is striking, I think, because the usual perception one has of a "good" student (who gets to be valedictorian) is one who must be consumed with grades and the traditional goals of school....but this girl seemingly has that AND gets that it is all meaningless. She's bought in but she knows she's been conned.
It makes me wonder why she went along with it all in the first place.
PsychMom, I'll take what I can get. I'm sorry that she got conned but I'm glad that she understands it, and has the courage to speak out.
ReplyDeleteAnd since she's valedictorian, at least her remarks can't be dismissed out of hand.
PsychMom said:
ReplyDeleteThat's very true..the teachers HAD to sit and listen to her.
I'll bet that the next valedictorian will have to have his/her speech OK'd by the school before they're allowed to read it.
LOL, Psychmom, I bet you're right about the next Val. needing to get the okay from on high! I think most kids know they are just "doing school" to get whatever the prize is: the grade, admission to an elite university, etc. The sad thing is that many kids go from "doing school" to "doing work" and never do find a fulfilling livelihood and probably think that such a thing is an unrealistic pipedream. This girl's speech should be seen my every educator.
ReplyDelete"I have no clue about what I want to do with my life; I have no interests because I saw every subject of study as work..." That's me - I was so praise/reward-oriented at school that I never explored my own interests, and so went into the field that I had the best marks in, not the one I was most interested in. It took stopping work when my first kid was born and having six years off ("off") to read that I realized I had my own interests and passions.
ReplyDeleteTrying not to make the same mistake with my kids (over-praising, praising for results not effort, praising at all really) but of course I'm sure I'll screw something else up. :)
Amy, there is no such thing as a perfect parent, any more than there is such a thing as a perfect child. I'd like to have a dime for each of the times I've screwed up!
ReplyDeleteTrying not to make the same mistake with my kids (over-praising, praising for results not effort, praising at all really)
ReplyDeleteI think NOT praising at all is a much bigger mistake. If this is a reference to Carol Dweck's work, I interpret it to mean that you should praise kids for what they can control, such as taking the right actions, rather than things they can't, such as who they are. That rings true in my experience.
But, I've seen too many extraordinarily skilled adults who, despite their amazing successes, were still bitter that "nothing I ever did, no matter what I accomplished, was ever good enough for Dad." Yes, a desperate, futile attempt to win some praise from dad may have driven them to achieve great things, but at what cost? I'll have to find a way to praise strategically, for choices they make and actions they take, so that (hopefully) my kids never feel that way about me.