Why is School so Stressful? Part 1 of Many

The other day, after doing a page of Singapore Math with me, Younger Daughter remarked:  "When I was in school, I never raised my hand during math, because I never knew what they were talking about."   This is confirmed by her teacher's report:  "She can add 7 and 2, but she can't tell you how she did it!"

One way that school is stressful for kids is that it makes demands that the kids don't understand and can't possibly meet.

The most common demand is for an answer that will make the teacher happy.  A child has to be extremely verbal, socially adept, eager to please, and adult-oriented to figure this out.  A child like Younger Daughter, who has language delays, along with a volcanically intense love-hate relationship with authority, doesn't have a chance.

Of course, it isn't just math.  We've already seen the reading "comprehension" problem.   The teacher asks, "what do you think will happen next?"  If the child answers with a perfectly sensible, and truthful, "I don't know", she's at risk of intervention for inadequate "comprehension." 

I was worried that the trip we're taking now would be difficult, because we don't have backup care for Younger Daughter.  I've been pleasantly surprised at how well we're getting along, even though we're together 24/7.  One reason is that we're all a lot less stressed out in the absence of school.  Am I turning into an unschooler?

A Radical Unschooler

I grew up reading the works of Gerald Durrell, beginning with My Family and Other Animals. This is an account of the 5 years the young Gerald Durrell spent with his family on the island of Corfu. (There's a nice BBC adaptation which is available on Netflix.)

Louisa Durrell occasionally worried about young Gerald's schooling, and employed various tutors to transmit the basics, but she also gave her son enormous freedom to explore the island's wildlife. His years on Corfu launched his later career as a naturalist and writer. Gerald Durrell treats his mother as a comic figure in his books, but it's clear that she was an adventurous and unconventional spirit who gave her children a wonderful start on life.

I've always admired those, like Durrell, who, rather than climbing up some prefabricated career ladder, invented their own career to suit their passions and abilities. In our times of rapid social change and economic uncertainty, more and more people will be called on to do this. How can a lockstep, authoritarian school system help our children find their own way in a constantly changing world?

Would You Go This Far?

The NY Times today ran an article about the Manhattan Free School.

Readers, would you send your kid(s) to a school like this? Why or why not?

My answer is no. Now, it could be that the article was badly written (it wouldn't be the first time), but it's really not clear what the kids gain from attending this school. What do they know at the end of the year that they didn't know at the beginning? What experiences have they had? It could be a long year of nothing in particular.